As the date for my second Moderna vaccine fast approaches, I find myself imagining the many possibilities that lay before me that didn’t exist during this never-ending pandemic. Hugs with family, dinners with clients, trips to places near and far. All of it is so heartwarming.
But the expectations we have for “getting back” might just get in the way of the really meaningful reunions that are necessary after a year apart. Not all of us will be ready to move at the same pace; everyone will have different emotional boundaries on physical touch, gathering, and norms for the “workday.”
There is plenty published on putting “return to office” plans in place. Some companies, like Google, Uber, Twitter, and Mastercard, have adopted long-term remote work strategies. Other firms (including TiER1) are implementing a hybrid of in-office expectations with distributed work flexibility.
And while, yes, it is important to know many of the logistics of desks, surveys, vaccines, location requirements, etc., what I want to talk about is what happens after all of that. With the inevitable moment that we each come face-to-face with our colleagues once again and there is that pause right before what would have been a hug or handshake.
What’s in a Good Reunion?
Avengers: Endgame is a fantastic ode to the reunion. Released in 2019, this Marvel/Disney film tied together over a decade of storytelling across seven different franchises. Here’s the synopsis: “After the devastating events of Avengers: Infinity War (2018), the universe is in ruins due to the efforts of the Mad Titan, Thanos. With the help of remaining allies, the Avengers must assemble once more in order to undo Thanos’s actions and restore order to the universe once and for all, no matter what consequences may be in store.”
Did you catch that? The Avengers must assemble once more. What makes this film so great is the huge bursts of emotion that come when various characters are reunited to defeat the big bad. Now, re-read that synopsis again and make your team the Avengers, COVID-19 the Mad Titan, and “restoring order to the universe” your team’s mission (goals, plans) after returning to the office. The analogy mostly works, except for one missing ingredient. There’s something about a generic “return to office plan” that doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as hearing Robert Downey Jr. (as Iron Man) shout “Avengers assemble!” in the final battle scene. Reframing a “return to office” plan as an intentional reunion process might better recognize the significance of reassembling.
I wrote about ways of working here, where we talk about the importance of ritual—those patterns of behavior that we imbue with meaning. Meaning makes ordinary moments magical. Rituals are important because they draw us toward the things that matter, toward who and what we identify with, and to the communities we want to belong to.
A reunion done well is a ritual around reuniting. Your mission (should you choose to accept it!) is to avoid bulldozing your reunions whenever possible.
Recognize the Challenges of Reuniting
Some things to consider for both yourself and others as you take on this mission include:
The Inevitable Cringe
If you’ve ever been to a high school or college reunion, it was probably preceded by a conversation about whether or not to attend. You might have even committed to it and then backed out over and over again in your mind. The same might be true for our post-COVID reunions – when you walk through the doors, it might be a little awkward at first. You’ll likely immediately start trying to find your people again, because, let’s face it, you’re not going to be excited to see everyone. Just like pre-COVID times, there will be some people we aren’t excited to see, or touch for that matter. That’s OK. Honor your boundaries, find your people, and let the hugs and tears flow, if you want to.
The Feeling of “Presenting Yourself”
As we prepare to see others for the first time in a while, we might struggle with the idea of how we want to be (weight, clothing, emotional stability) as compared to where we actually are. Many of us turned to social media for companionship during the pandemic, which means we also got exposed to tons of images of people who had the resources (psychological, mental, financial, and physical) to better themselves during the time away. If you were one of those people, good for you! If you weren’t, be kind to yourself. Your body literally took care of you through a global pandemic! It’s OK if it feels different. Be mindful of each other’s feelings and respect that everyone’s journey has been different.
The Act of “Getting Back to Work”
While, yes, we will do initial reintroductions and inevitably get back into the swing of our planned agendas, try not to do too much too soon. Just like there were waves of weirdness when we all went apart, those same waves of anxiety, sensory overload, and people overload will happen all over again. Try not to pack your agendas full of task-only work—the work of building, restoring, and healing relationships is critical during this time.
The “Being New” Effect
Many employees have left and joined companies since the pandemic began. For new joiners coming into the office for the first time, this is essentially their first day at work. For those who left, there are likely many colleagues they were close with who are going to feel a little grief of losing a friend, confidante, and teammate once they return to the office and feel their absence. There will need to be an inevitable reshuffle.
The Inevitable Mix of Emotions
There is both the bursting joy of seeing people we care about and love, as well as the anxiety of not feeling fully comfortable being together. Do not rush yourself. Give yourself grace and space. Take the reunion at your own pace and honor the pace others set for themselves.
So, with all of this in mind, how can you best honor your reunions? Here are some strategies.
Ways to Honor Your Reunions
To honor your reunions is to honor your pacing.
As the world and the routines we once knew open up to us again, we too must allow an “inner opening up” to unfold. The ever-present “fear of missing out” (FOMO) might drive us to try and pack a year and a half’s worth of interactions into a one-month period. While that would burn you out even in pre-pandemic times, now you have the added weight of not having worked that social muscle. What would have been light coffee chats or easy group lunches might end up taking much more emotional energy than they once did. That’s OK.
To honor your reunions is also to honor the pacing of others.
I think about the intense feelings that arise when you hear, for the first time, the news that a loved one has passed – how big that emotion feels. When I’ve had the chance to process the sudden shock of that loss, and my mind has moved on to making arrangements, it does not mean I need to be any less gentle in making room for that shock for my other family members. The same will be true for the bursts of emotion that come with re-entering the workplace. It’s been powerful to see the number of conversations that have been happening in the context of COVID-19 about consent, agreements, and boundaries. While these topics are incredibly important for the relationships we keep and the decisions we make in organizations, consent, agreements, and boundaries are also essential ingredients for ensuring our spaces (as we return to them) continue to feel safe. If you are a hugger, ask before you reach out. Lead with an elbow as an alternative to shaking hands. If you make plans with a work friend to catch-up, try to take that pressure off both of you to find the right bar with outdoor seating and find a patio, lawn, or park that is easier for both of you to access.
Remember that the pandemic is still not over.
It’s important to remember that people in the United States are still contracting COVID-19, some who have contracted it long ago are “long haulers,” and lives have been lost or significantly changed. Also, while the vaccination rates in the U.S. are fairly high, there are many countries abroad where the most devastating results from the pandemic are just getting under way. And the people you work with are still experiencing all of it. As we return to the workplace, it can be tempting to lean fully into joy and try to put the past year and a half behind us, but that temptation is both not reality and not helpful for creating a safe, inclusive culture. Be mindful of the COVID-related struggles many are still facing, and be gentle with both yourself and others as the situation continues to unfold.
Here’s the thing: When we attend a reunion, time has transformed us. This pandemic has changed all of us. Our collective experience of highs and lows over this period cannot be forgotten or amputated from our memories. Hold your head high—you made it through a global pandemic. As more employees begin to return to the office full-time, the practice of honoring reunions and taking small, mindful steps forward will be critical for maintaining a healthy, safe, inclusive, and productive workplace. Rather than focusing on what has kept us apart, our reunions can be a chance for cultures to be celebrated—for what draws us together.
Curious to know more about creating intentional return-to-office reunion plans? We’d love to chat. Fill out the form below or contact us at 859-415-1000 to get in touch with the TiER1 team.
